Read My Body Language... How to Flirt with your Body - Part One of Two
Last week we mastered the art of Eye Flirting. This week, we take a look at the subtle (and not so subtle) ways that you can flirt using Body Language. That’s right. You’ve hooked a guy with your sexy eyes, but now you have to seal the deal and get that first date. What signals can you send that don’t require words? Gestures have a 1,000 meanings and here we take a look at the signals you might be sending that either drive a man wild or drive a man away.
You might want to review your eye flirting techniques to know how to initially make first contact with the man of your choice.
If your eyes aren’t getting his attention, remember:
It takes between 90 seconds and four minutes for another person to realize that you are flirting with them. And using body language to flirt is the most common way to do it, with 55% of the signals we pick up being physical gestures or movements.
Why care about body language?
According to Dr. Albert Scheflen, body language reveals how available, attractive, enthusiastic or even how desperate we are. Some signals of flirting body language are unconscious and completely natural. Let’s take a look at those first.
Natural or Unconscious signals:
There's the “Sexy Blush” and the “Embarrassed Blush”. Both happen because an emotional state triggers blood vessels to dilate. The cheeks are where it is most obvious. "Women draw attention to themselves by tossing or playing with their hair, tilting their heads, raising their eyebrows, giggling, or blushing." (Encyclopedia of psychology - Alan E. Kazdin). The cosmetics industry has understood this and that’s why one of their bestselling make-up items is cheek rouge or "blush".
Our pupils dilate when we’re feeling sexually aroused. That’s why pupils are often airbrushed in magazines to appear larger than normal. When people are shown images with larger pupils, they reported feeling more attracted to that person. This fact has been understood since the fifteenth century, when Tudor ladies placed deadly belladonna poison into their eyes, just to dilate their pupils and create this effect.
Showing Off What Momma Gave You
This happens naturally. When you’re interested in someone your body posture changes. If you are sitting, you will often straighten up, because that way, your breasts are emphasized. Some women will even cross their legs to display them to the best advantage. If you are standing, you might find yourself tilting your hips towards the object of your focus.
These might be some of the ways that people unknowingly signal their desire, but quite often, a deliberate and carefully crafted approach is needed.
The core principle of flirting body language is emphasizing sexual differences in order to attract the opposite sex. Highlighting these differences is what makes a person look and feel “sexy”.
So, where do you start?
Try a few simple gestures first:
Build on the Eye Contact
Once you’ve established a connection with the guy you like, you want to sustain it. Keep drawing focus to your eyes. Subtly touch your nose or gently rub your cheek. Try this one: Hold your face in both hands with your chin resting on your palms and elbows on the table. Gently stroke the outer corners of both eyes with your index or middle finger. Your other fingers should be spread out in a semi-circle around your face. This gives the illusion of a whisper or secret being shared. Very sexy indeed!
OUR SECRET TIP? Use Lash Extensions to enhance your eyes and draw focus to your most flirty attribute. Large, sexy eyes will always draw a man’s attention!
Now, it’s time to up the ante. Bring the attention closer with your lips:
Purse your Lips as if the Air were giving you a Kiss
Full, sculpted lips are often seen as beautiful and desirable. If you have a sexy pucker, show it off! Purse your lips as if you’re kissing the air. If a man catches it, this signal is unmistakeable. But, on other women, particularly those who have had their lips over-plumped with collagen, it might not work, because it’s hard to see this subtle move with giant overblown lips.
OUR SECRET TIP?Instead of resorting to lip fillers and collagen injections, try Permanent Make-Up for the lips. A good permanent make-up artist can draw a slightly larger lip line to enhance and enlarge what you already have. Plus, you’ll have a natural, rich lip color that will never smudge or smear when you go in for that first kiss!
Take a little nibble at your Lips
There’s nothing like the Lower Lip Nibble to subconsciously give a man an injection of pure testosterone. The lower lip is gently gripped by the teeth and with seductive slowness, is allowed to slip away. Strange fact: this powerful sex signal is often used by submissive females to indicate their interest in a dominant partner.
Parted Lips say I’m ready to Kiss
Your chin should be lifted and your lips parted as if ready to be kissed. A word of caution: This is a serioussex signal and should not be used for casual flirting. Some psychologists claim that the reason parted lips is such a sexy signal is that it mimics the parting of your legs and suggests that a woman is ready to part a different set of lips. Maybe that’s why women seeking a sexual partner often choose lipstick that is extremely close to the colour of their labia or nipples. Coincidence? I think not.
Before we leave the face/head region, we should mention hair and the effect it has on men…
The Casual Hair Preen
Women with long hair often twirl or play with it out of habit, but these gestures can either be used as a sign of nervous or of playful arousal. It can be used to attract a man's attention or to show him that his masculinity is attractive to her. Caution: Make sure your ‘preening’ motions are slow and luxurious. Stroke your hair in a sensual fashion. If you jerk or tug the hair it can send the opposite signal to what you want: In other words, it can signal intense discomfort and a desire to be somewhere else.
Toss that Hair!
As animals go, humans don’t have that much hair. But, what little hair we do have plays a significant role in attracting a potential mate. Long, flowing hair has always been a sign of feminine health and beauty. By tossing your hair, you’re essentially saying: "look at me and my suitability. I am happy, confident and very healthy!" Try twirling or flicking your mane. Why? It’s a hot, hot signal. The ‘Definitive Book of Body Language’ (Allan and Barbara) allegedly claims that it allows a woman to expose her armpit and thus "waft" sexual pheromones to the man.
OUR SECRET TIP? Nothing spoils the mood more than a sweaty, smelly armpit and nothing ruins a sexy dress faster than sweat stains. Avoid both these issues with Botox injections- Coming Soon to Élan Beauty... It’s the secret weapon that all celebrities use when they don’t want to sweat under pressure!
Look for more Body Flirting techniques, including advanced moves for the expert flirt, in our upcoming Blog…. Stay tuned ladies, there’s more moves to come, including ways to highlight your sexy bum!
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$1- 6 Very Powerful Flirting and Sexual Attraction Body Language Signals By Yangki Christine Akiteng, Love Doctor; url: http://www.torontosnumber1datedoctor.com/NEWSLETTER%20ARTICLES/attraction_body_%20language_%20signals.html
$1- How Men and Women Use Body Language to Flirt By Alison Kim Perry; url: http://health.howstuffworks.com/relationships/dating/flirt-body-language.html
$1- The Attraction Doctor- How persuasion research can help you get a date By Jeremy Nicholson, M.S.W., Ph.D.; url: http://www.psychologytoday.com/blog/the-attraction-doctor/201105/you-dont-say-persuasive-body-language-flirting